He Needs Love Anyway
by thenewno9
Summary: What happens when Lifty and Shifty end up in the wrong place, go to jail and meet an old friend. Read, review, and find out. Almost there... ShiftyxNifty LiftyxOC. My first story. Second story is about the date with Lifty and Petunia
1. Do I Need This

**I don't own Happy Tree Friends or Nifty (A made up character made by Nifty, a French artist (image), who gave me the idea to make this story. Thank you. This story is a sequel to ****Who Needs Love Anyway**** by Juicebee)**

**He Needs Love Anyway**

**A year has passed since Shifty has thought of Nifty. Well, Lifty thinks so. Lifty found the beauty of girls and has dated pretty much everybody in Happy Tree Friend Land. Here is their story****.**

**Chapter 1: ****Do I Need This**

"How was your date with the blue skunk?" said Shifty. "Annoying, she always asks me about her ex, Toothy. You were wrong. Once you go blue, you can always go back. Anyway, I hear the girl you loved last year, Nifty, Is still single," said his twin brother Lifty. Shifty answered, "No way. I can't date her. She made me beat you up hard. Remember, you can replace a lover, but not a brother. "The reason I did that is because you never spent time with me and needed your "privacy." I never cared about girls, until you showed me about… By the way, she is leaving to London for a year to go to Oxford," said Lifty.

"Where did you hear that?" asked Shifty.

"My date," replied Lifty. "I also read your letter you sent to her. After I read it I thought you were a fag."

"You read my letter! So that is why she never sent back," said Shifty. "Fine. I still have a crush on her. I can't resist myself. She is HOT! The best thing we can do to see her is to steal tickets to go to London." They got in their van, but they had to load off their acne cream when they saw Flaky having it. A scam that didn't work. Lifty and Shifty got to the airport and saw Nifty entering the gate.

"We got to steal those to guys' tickets," said Shifty. "I'll do the honors, bro."

Lifty stole the tickets when Handy and Mole weren't looking. Lifty also stole people's luggage like a PSP or an iPod. Lifty wanted the PSP and gave the pink iPod full of Jonas Brothers' songs.

Shifty receives the iPod and replies, "Really. You know I like Queens of the Stone Age." "Sorry, that's the best I can do," says Lifty. "Just give me the tickets," says Shifty.

Shifty gave the tickets to the airport employee and got in a plane. Shifty was planning to see Nifty in the plane he was in, but she wasn't. "Don't worry, we'll see her in 5 hours. Just listen to Jonas Bros." "Shut up. God, I wish I had iTunes right now. Oh well 4 and ½ hours to go."

(10 hrs. later)

" Hey Lifty, wake we're here." "What? 10 more minutes." Shifty looks out the window and sees lanterns, people not speaking English, and then the pilot says the most upsetting thing he can say, "We are now in Beijing, China." "Noooooooooooooooooooo!" screams Shifty.


	2. Wrong Country Wrong Place To Be

**I don't own HTF or its characters. Just in case I don't want to offend people with my work. I respect all nationalities.**

**He Needs Love Anyways**

**Chapter 2: ****Wrong Country, Wrong Place to Be**

"Lifty! You got us the wrong tickets! We are in CHINA, not England!" screamed Shifty at Lifty. "How was I suppose to know those tickets took us here," replied Lifty. "Maybe if you read the tickets, but no, we are more than 1000 miles away from our destination!" "OUR destination? No. I just went in to meet women." "Can you stop thinking about…" Lifty gazed at what time London would be leaving and ignores his brother. "Hey, shut up. I'm looking at what the plane would leave. We can make it." "Fine. But, I'll get them (bleeping) tickets." "Geez! No need to curse."

Shifty stole tickets from people in a badge and uniform. As he got the tickets from the people, an officer said, "Holt! You got 10 seconds to return those tickets. (In Mandarin Chinese). "And a cheeng chong to you to buddy," answers Shifty. "You are coming with us my friend," says an officer." "Lifty, HELP!!!"

Shifty was put in jail for one hour so far and is about to go from point A to point psycho.

Shifty thinks to himself, "I' m becoming like dad," and yells, "Let me out, I need to go to London. I'm an innocent man. INNOCENT!"

The officer didn't understand him and responded when a reported bank robbery was heard on the intercom.

Shifty tried to steal the keys until he gave up. And out of nowhere, the keys leaped to his cell. Lifty was there. Shifty opened the door and when he got out, another convict tried to leave until the Auto Lock closed the door which cut his front and back body were split in half.

"You saved my life. The other con wanted to snuggle." They got on a train nearby and left. "Hide in the cargo cart," said Lifty. "Where does this train go." Well. After all the stuff I stole, this train goes to Germany. I mean look at it wallets, jewelry, and a cigar box. Hey, why do you still got that iPod?" "I want to give it to Nifty." "I'm not sure if she knows who the Jonas Bros. are."

( A week later) The train stopped and is now in Berlin. After they got off the train, the –ifty bros started to walk. Later, a group of girls scream. "What is their problem?" asked Lifty. Shifty shrugged. They started to chase Lifty and Shifty, and then they ran.


	3. Fame and Misfortune

**I don't HTF or its characters. I was a fan since 2002. Almost there…**

**He Needs Love Anyway**

**Chapter 3: Fame and Misfortune**

The two brothers ran for their lives from the screaming girls. "What do they want from us?" screamed Lifty. Shifty fell over a rock and his life was flashing before his eyes. "What the?" said Shifty as the girls past him. "Whew. They are not coming after me." Shifty saw a newspaper on the floor and saw a raccoon that looks exactly like Lifty. "Leave me alone! I have no money!" "Racuell!" screamed the girls. "Who the (bleep) is Racuell!?" "Hey, Lifty. Need a ride?" "Where did you get that motorcycle?" "That screaming moose."

Lumpy was yelling at Shifty as they rode away from the girls and him. "Some teen pop star looks exactly like you," says Shifty. "Hmm. This can work for me," says Lifty in a happy tone. "Huh?" "Girls lining up to see me." "Yeah. One problem. You can't sing. You sing like Gwen Stefani." "Oh, shut up."

After a while the motorcycle stopped. "What? Work D#n you!" The cycle stopped at a forest. "You must be drunk to go in the forest," says Shifty. "Well, I am buzzed. Hey, I see a deer."

They stared at the deer and got up close. "This isn't like those other deer we got at home," says Lifty.

After a few calm moments, two squirrels shot the deer and got all over Shifty's face. "Ich habe es! (German for "I got it") Sie sprechen Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?) "Wer sind sie? (Who are they?)" " Sie sind nicht Deutsch. (They are not German.) Hellos. My English is no very good." "Do yous haves somewheres to sleeps?" "No." replied Lifty. "Well, come with me and him."

"I am Kliro (Klee-ro) and my brother Randeut (Ran-doit)." "We lives up in mountain (meant to say hill) and this is our home." The outside was a log cabin that is poorly built.

"When they entered, the brothers were amazed. The inside looked beautiful and looked like it was built by angels. "Don't judges a book by its titles," says Kliro. "It's "cover," corrected Shifty. "I thought it was Shifty," says Kliro. "Never mind," replies Shifty.

A little girl comes in the room she screams, "Racuell!" "Here we go again," says Lifty. "Das ist nicht Racuell. Es handelt sich un eiden typ haben wir in den wald mit seinem bruder." (This isn't Racuell. It's a guy we found in the forest with his brother.) "Sorry, mein Felher." (Sorry, my mistake) "That was Tasia (Ta-sha)," says Kliro.

"You wills be sleeps here," said Randeut. "There's one bed, a TV, and a gnome. It's a family tradition to keeps bad spirits away. Good night."

"Shifty, you know gnomes scare the (bleep) out of me." "Just go to sleep." Lifty closed his eyes for a moment. When he opens them up again the gnome got closer. It happened again and again until it was on the side of his bed. By itself, it opens its mouth. "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" screams Lifty.

"That gnome was possessed I tell ya." "Did we really need to leave? It was such a good home."

Lumpy was on a bus until he saw his motorcycle in the side of a hill. "Stop," yells Lumpy.

Lumpy goes up the hill and finds Lifty and Shifty walking down it. He pulls out a pocket knife.


	4. Ol' Friends and Deaths

**Like always, I don't own HTF or its character. I'll tell you how I got my Pen Name: My favorite song is Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen, 1974) and my middle name is Cristian.**

**He Needs Love Anyway**

**Chapter 4: Ol' Friends and Death**

Lumpy tripped Shifty, but was unable to stab him since he rolled down. "Come here," said Lumpy as he was about to stab Lifty. They got on the bus that Lumpy was on and left. "Wasn't that the same moose you stole the motorcycle from?" asked Lifty. "Yeah," said Shifty panting. "Whatever the closest gas station is… Don't tell me we just past one." "Well, nice knowing ya," said Lifty. "Shut up. How were we going to buy the gas?" asked Shifty.

Lifty showed the wallets he stole from the train full of German Francs. "Oh, crap. Give me a wallet." "No." "I saved your life. GIVE ME A WALLET." "(whispered) No."

They started to fight until the bus driver split up the fight and threw them out the bus. "This is your fault," said Shifty. "No it's yours." They started to argue until a 70's style car almost hit them. "Get off the (bleeping) way," says the driver. As they approached the car they noticed it was their friend, Disco Bear.

"Thrifty, Shifty, what are you doing here?" asked DB. "Long story. By the way, it's Lifty." "Sorry, man. I forgot. Need a lift, Lifty. Ha. Shifty, and you." "Okay," answers Shifty. "Where to." "London." "Son of an Alzheimer's disease victim. Me, too. Why?" "Well… (10 minutes later) … and that is why?" "I see. I had that problem to. I dated a girl who had to leave and I followed her and (sob) never found her. To Ale, I hope your new boyfriend doesn't take a paternity test.

(2 days later)

DB drove up to a discotheque night club. "I'm gonna take a detour. If you guys wanna come." "Okay," said Lifty. "Shift. Are you coming?" "I'll catch up."

Shifty took out a picture of Nifty and kissed it.

The DJ called up Disco Bear and said, "DB where is a 905 Francs you were supposed give me for the drinks. You know the club's rules." "Oh, no. Listen D, I promise I'll return with the cash, but let me take my friends to London." "No! You'd better steal it from someone or you end like Tio in the garbage.

Disco looked around the club until he saw Lifty's pockets. "I'll pay back today, just keep playing music. DB found Lifty making out with someone and pulled him. "Hey, what the… (DB covered his mouth) "Hey, Lifty. Lend me 905 Francs." "For what?" "Never mind."

"Hey, DJ. I got the money in the car." "Find, but Buff is gonna be with you so nothing funny happens." "The more the merrier."

Shifty was standing alone until a woman came up to him. "Hey, good-lookin'." Shifty didn't respond. "What's wrong?" "Don't want to talk about it." "I can help. I am a junior psychiatrist." "On girls gone wild," he added. "Let's just talk about it."

Disco Bear was in his car and pulled a gun and killed Buffs. "Thanks, Chloe. You really helped me now," said Shifty. Disco Bear entered the club and started shooting. Killing every security guard, DB aimed at DJ and was shooting. Lifty and Shifty made it outside. Shifty saw DJ is still alive and pulled out a shotgun. Lifty started driving until he made it to the entrance. "What are you doing?!" yelled Shifty. "He screwed us!"

Disco leaves the club and runs to the car. Both yell, "Hurry up. Come on." "Hey guys, wait up," said Disco. Those were his last words before DJ shot him twice in the back.


	5. Move On Almost There

Sorry for the delay. I am back. Enjoy

**Chapter 5:**

**Move On/ Almost There**

"Oh, my God!" screamed Lifty. "He's dead!" Shifty said screaming while crying. DJ shot a window of the car trying to shoot them. Morning came as they were still on the road. "Another day has come. Too bad Disco isn't around to see it," sadly said Shifty. "Will you shut up. I don't want to talk about him," said Lifty. "Listen. We are almost there." "Let me see if he got family contact in his bag," said Shifty. "I'm not gonna all his parents," answered Lifty. "He got 9 cans of pepper spray, iPod with 200 disco songs… Wow. A book on how to learn how to disco dance," said Shifty. "The man doesn't know. Weak." "Another book. It's titled "All the Women I Slept with or Wish I Had." "Open it," begged Lifty.

He read the women he did sleep with and went on to the women he wished he had slept with. "WHAT THE (insert curse word)! HE WANTED TO SLEEP WITH NIFTY!!!" screamed Shifty. "What does it say?" asked Lifty. Shifty read, "What I wouldn't do to get me that French raccoon. She is H-O-T. I don't want my long time friend Shifty to be mad." He finished. "Thank God he is dead," said Shifty.

The brothers stayed at a motel for the night. "We are almost there," said Shifty. Morning came and the brothers got into the car. "The tires are slashed," said Lifty. When he was going to get the spares, Lumpy showed. "SHIFTY! HELP!" yelled Lifty. Lumpy pushed Lifty and got out his knife. Shifty came and sprayed his eyes. "Damn it!" yelled Lumpy. They got on his motorbike and left.

Three hours came and Shifty said in glee, "It's Oxford University!"


	6. Home for Some

**I am done with my first story. Did you like it? Your reviews mean a lot (nothing) to me.**

**Chapter 6:**

**Home for Some**

"So now what?" asked Lifty. "Are you serious. Why did we traveled more than 1,000 miles for?" exclaimed Shifty. "To get horny." "No. To find Nifty." "I still liked the horny idea."

They walked around. Shifty searching all over the campus, while Lifty was too busy playing "Scarface" on the PSP he stole (remember). "Did you see her?" asked Shifty to get a good answer. "Nope," replied Lifty. "Are you even trying?" asked Shifty. "Well, me and my gang were trying to kill the drug lord, but since you interrupted me, I died," replied Lifty. "Not the game, smartass. Finding her, did you see Nifty?" said Shifty, frustrated. "Oh, then, nope," answered Lifty.

Shifty was yelling at his brother, while Lifty ignoring, then soon Lifty sees her. "Hey, Yelly Mc Red Face, look," said Lifty. The brothers follow her until 4 rich-looking guys approach. "Well, if it isn't the "Pussy of WWII," said one guy. "Yeah, you French are an embarrassment to Europe," said another. They keep tormenting her until she runs in tears. "Shifty. Did you just see that?" said Lifty. But, when he turned to tell him that he was talking to the 4. "Hey, tea and crumpets. That girl you made fun of, I love her," said Shifty. "Well, I guess we are going to have a rumble. You are outnumbered 4-to-1," says a guy. "It's now 2-4, a$$hole," said Lifty.

They start and soon the four run away. "Yeah, m-f'ers, run. When you mess with brothers that have a dad who gets into bar fights and always wins, you are asking for trouble," yells Shifty.

The next day, Shifty goes over to Nifty's dorm, but gets stopped. "I finally get you," says Lumpy. He takes out a blade, then gets hit in the head with a bat. "I was gonna follow you and record it to put on Tree Tube, but I always carry a weapon," says Lifty. "Go away," said Shifty. He enters and knocks on the door. Nifty opens it.

"Nifty, I went all this way just to see you. I couldn't wait a year," says Shifty. "Shifty, right, I wanted to see you too. I sort of have a, how do you say, crush on you," says Nifty. They make out. The brothers soon meet up. "How'd it go?" asked Lifty. "I bought you a ticket to go home. I am gonna stay here. "What! After all this (blank), you are gonna abandon me?" says Lifty. "Yes," said Shifty. "I taught you well. Goodbye," said Lifty.

The next week, Lifty got a letter. It keeps saying how well he made it with Nifty, until the last paragraph. It says:

_I know how you can get lonely. Here is some good news. There is a strip club opening by the gas station on Oak Av. Go there._

"Well, I got something to look up to," says Lifty.


End file.
